GamblingHelper.com

My name is Paul and I am compulsive gambler, it has been 23 days since my last bet. 23 days ago I didn't realize I was a compulsive gambler; however; when I was confronted by my employer for embezzling it finally "hit" me that I am and will always be a compulsive gambler. I am currently attending and will attend (for as long as I am "legally" allowed) Gamblers Anonymous meetings. I have lost a great career (incidentally in the Gaming business), I am in the process of losing everything that I have worked for with the exception of my wife and two children. My father hasn't spoken to me since this all occurred and my older sister will do anything to help my wife and children but she wants nothing to do with me and I can not blame her.

My wife, mother, step father and younger sister have showed tremendous support and without this support I am not sure what I would have done. I have spent five days in jail and I am looking at some serious issues in my future. I cannot change the past and I cannot predict what will happen in the future I can only take things one day at a time.

If someone told me 25 years ago when I made my first wager that when you are 39 years old you will lose everything and be in place where there are no freedoms. I would have told them that they were crazy because I am an intelligent person and I can "control" my gambling. The fact of the matter is the gambling took over my life and ruined it and ruined the lives of my family. It is an insidious addiction, you do things that no rational person would do. You don't think of the consequences and I am here to tell anyone that will listen that there are serious consequences for all of my horrible actions.

I threw away a great life so I could always be in "action". Having worked in the Gaming Industry for 13 years I wouldn't dare go near a slot machine or a table game. My game of choice was sports betting because I knew (or I thought I knew) that sports betting had the lowest house percentage so I stood a chance to win. However; winning and losing became superfluous it only mattered whether I had action. Of course I lost a great deal more than I won so I had to fuel the addiction with money and addicts will do anything to get their fix and I did anything and everything to perpetuate my fantasy life. This all came to an end 23 days ago.

I have no desire to make a wager but I do understand that this is a disease and it will be with me all of my life. Gamblers Anonymous has helped a great deal and having a sponsor that went through a similar situation 14 years ago also helps. Right now there is a tunnel ahead and it is very dark but with the Grace of God, my family and my friends I will get through this. I keep thinking of my 7 year old daughter and 4 year old son and I want to see them grow up because I love them more than anything in the world.

With the proliferation of gambling society needs to be aware of its pitfalls. Ironically, gambling provided me with a great career and also destroyed it.

The first sign of recovery is admitting you have a problem, if you have an inkling that you have a problem please make a commitment to stop. Whether it is GA, self help, hyponsis or whatever try something until it sticks. Don't let it be too late before you change. I hope this helps someone. Thank you for listening and be well.

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Authored by: janie on Friday
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 2007-06-03 13:39.

Authored by: janie on Friday April 29, 2005
03:40 PM EDT

Paul,
I am in the same type of predicament as you. Don't know how I turned from being a successful businesswoman into someone who would do anything to get another couple of bucks to gamble with. I actually was charged with fraud for my misuse of a company credit card and terminated from a great job. I am fortunate, like you I have a supportive family. Believe me it does get better. It's almost a relief when a secret life is exposed. My biggest mistake however has been to shut myself off from anyone other than my family. It's been almost a year now and I find it too hard to return caring calls from friends who I was too ashamed to call back in September when it all happened. I would encourage you not to fall into the same trap - you made a mistake and have owned up to it. Best of luck.