Don't give up and be willing to try anything


Hi.

I chose the username 'whynotme' because I have been dealing (or not dealing) with compulsive gamble since I turned 21, I am 46 now. I have attended irregularly GA meetings for the last 15 years, the most time away from gambling I've strung together was 11 months. I live in California and voted for tribal gaming, now I have a casino 4 miles away. I am a binge gambler. When I am able to get away from it for 3 or 4 weeks, I do alright. I think about it less and am more happy and productive. However, once I make the first bet I am off and running, taking weeks or months to stop. I am married to a wonderful woman who I love very much. My gambling has hurt her more than I will ever know. I have a great son, 5 years old. My gambling is robbing him of my time and our money, money I could be putting away for his education. I truely want to stop gambling and never make another bet as long as I live, but I forget that sometimes. I have the capacity to be honest with myself and others, I have an open mind and I am willing. I don't understand why I keep picking this addiction back up (hence the 'whynotme'). I hope that this forum will help me (and hopefully others as well), I plan to check in often and and participate when I can. Obviously there is much more to my story than the above, this is the short version.

Thanks for letting me share.

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scotty555's picture
Amazing
Submitted by scotty555 on Sat, 2007-01-27 02:01.

You sound so "normal." I mean your story sounds so familiar to me and I'm sure to many others on this site.

I feel really vulnerable to binge even though I am almost 7 months free of gambling. My spouse is gone to her parents to visit for 6 weeks and it took me about 1 day to start thinking...wouldn't it be cool to put $500 on the superbowl? You know, if I could do that and stop afterwards it wouldn't be a big deal. However, for me, if I bet just $20 it could be catastrophic.

Thanks for saying how this addition has hurt the ones you love...same for me. That little fact kept me from "taking the superbowl plunge." I'll watch the game and enjoy the BBQ and the funny commercials...but we all know that gambling monster will be on my shoulder.

Everyone -- stay away from that game -- it could be the start of a downward spiral. It has been 7 great months since I felt that horrible feeling!

Scotty

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Don't Give Up
Submitted by Rocky2 on Mon, 2007-01-29 11:12.

I read your story, and it sounds similar to mine. Please, please stop gambling. I wish I never got started. It's a horrible thing. It strips a person's life of any kind of happiness. Oh, yes sometimes a person wins and it makes a person feel like they have conquered the world, but the winning is short lived. More often than not the winning does not surpass the losing. Losing is a downward spiral that makes a person feel devasted. Wipes finances out that is needed for something else.

I did that last week. I promised myself I would stop gambling. As soon as I got my paycheck, the first thing my mind went to was going to the casino. Well I went and now I'm broke, having paid no bills. My landlord demands the rent this week. I'm subject to lose my electricity again for the second time. I'm going to lose my internet and phone service for some time. It's crazy, I keep doing this to myself. So I will try again. I will keep trying until I'm able to stop gambling. I have to realize that the money I make is much more than what I could ever make gambling. I have to keep that in my mind when I have paycheck in hand and I'm thinking about going to the casino. It's like I'm on speed dial when I have money and think of going to the casino.

Please just keep trying and I'm sure one day, you will be able to stop. When you are ready you will stop. Keep the faith, and know you are not alone in this fight.