Please help me!


How I has been desperated! It is almost the level of committing suicide. I don't understand me. I don't understand this western society. Really I don't understand Canadian society. This city has 8 casinos-I can't believe the number as an immigrant from Asia. So this city has a casino in every place. I worked on a salary in my home country. At the time my country didn't have a casino. After came to Canada, I couldn't get a proper job and was stressed out because of English skill. The casino was misterious and the object of curiosity. When I visited Montreal in 2002, I was a lonely man because of my age and language skill. When I found the nice casino building, I decided to go there. After 1 hour, I lost my most allowance for staying in Montreal and reminded the face of my wife.

I prayed and got a jackpot--blaze 7s $1,400- finally. That was the beginning of the my tragedy. I vowed never to go any casino again. After 1 year, I was studying industrial design class in this city. Accidentally I stopped by a casino which is in the next door of a store for the project when I felt the cost of material for a project was too expensive to me. Actually I was greedy to get some money without labor. At the year I lost more than $10,000. I was shocked and was mentally sick because the amount was too big to me. So I stopped for a while. But there was an intention to recover the money in the coner of my mind. After graduation from a university, I got a job as a technician.

Almost 1 year after, the company fired me without any specific reason. Also a coworker of the company stimulated me through talking about winning at a casino. I lost my vacation pay and other money. I was extremely frustrated and thought about suicide. I met two counselors from the provincial government. They weren't helpful at all. I stopped going casino because of the lack of money. Later I got a job. And the ex-company gave a small amount money for a settlement with me. I was tempted to use the settlement money to recover the money I had lost.

But it was a new beginning to lose more money. After losing some money includung the settlement money, I found slot machines with $18 betting at a time. First time I won a couple of jackpot like $1000, and then I have lost $70,000 by now just for 6 months. The money is from mortgage of my house--line of credit. I only play slot machines. I just have believed I could recover the money and maybe I would deal with the random number genearator well like skill-up after lots of experience. Absolutely I has been addicted and deluded.

I am making $1000 every two weeks. But the machinery are tempting to bet $18 at a time, so I have often lost more than $5000 within several hours . Now I have lots of debt. Unfortunately I still belive I can recover some of money--although not 100%. I am sure I am the most stupid person in the world. I signed the application form of exclusion program from any casino in this province by the assistance of the friends on last Monday. However I have tried to make the application void and had an intention to recover some money through the gambling. Everything is dark, death, and helpless to me. I have 3 kids. How can I go to a right way? Really can I recover some of it? Or is it the best way to give up the money ? The money is too much to me. I hate gambling.

My best wish is all of casinos disappear in our world. Please help me. How many times I have cried! How many times I thought about suicide! I am really sick mentally. I lost all of my confidence for life and am afraid of everything. How shameful to my kids! I have saved 4 cents for a shopping bag and collected the empty bottles. Can we sue the government in the content of taking the happiness of people like smoking although it is emphasized as an personal option? Tomorrow is just dark to me . How can I keep my life!

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harry... still think you can
Submitted by challis on Fri, 2006-12-15 02:17.

harry... still think you can get a refund for your losses !!! please you are not the first and theres millions of us who have done there money,thats why vegas is getting bigger every year.your got to stop trying to win...if money was easy to get i,d give you some.but you might gamble that too.please give up the hope of winning it back ,rather make a budget to get yoursel back on track okay..

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Take your life back!
Submitted by la_shaun1 on Tue, 2006-12-19 14:12.

Harry, take a hold of your life. If not for yourself do it for those that are depending on you. You have the opportunity to change and make things better by taking a different course of action. Stop Gambling! It has not enhanced your life, so let go of it. It's just that simple.

Make a choice, then change will come. If you believe in a higher power ask for strength and guidance.

You are in my prayers.