Recovery in action


It's been a really rough year this year. My niece was diagnosed with Leukemia on Christmas Eve last year and after 8 months she lost her battle. So many times I wanted to hide from it all and not have to feel the pain that comes with watching someone you love suffer so much. There was even a couple times that I seriously thought about gambling as an option.My beautiful niece lost her battle on Sept 1st, a week after her 16th birthday.

In my past experience with GA there have been people who have lost people close to them and I thought that it might have sent me back to gambling. I always thought how strong those people were. Now I think I get it. I can't imagine dishonoring my niece by using her death as an excuse to go out and gamble. The whole situation is so sad and it really is hard to accept that she is gone and I don't always accept it, but I can't allow myself to gamble. Gambling can't be an option.

I really used my recovery when I was dieing inside; I reached out to other people in the program. I cried and cried some more when I needed to. It still surprises me when I look at it because losing someone so young is such a huge loss, I thought I had so much more time to spend, to experience with and then it was taken away. Through my nieces illness I saw what real strength was, I really saw someone fight for her life and yet she lost that battle. How can I do less? If ever I thought to live my life to the fullest or live each day as if it were my last these days I do. Life is far too short; I want to be a part of it. Gambling just can't be an option.I miss her.

Denise C. 3 years 6 months 24 days...one day at a time

* denisec's blog
* Add new comment

Denise I'm very sorry to
Submitted by Bach on Wed, 2006-10-04 15:02.

Denise

I'm very sorry to hear that about your niece. It sounds like you were close to her.

You've been clean over 3.5 years so you already know that the lost of loved ones can create a trigger to gamble. I will say a prayer for you and your niece tonight.

You are an inspiration to me. Just seeing the 3+ years is motivation for me.

Talk to you later.

Bach.

* delete
* edit
* reply

Thanks Bach....just one day
Submitted by denisec on Thu, 2006-10-19 16:43.

Thanks Bach....just one day at a time...it works in many areas of my life