Does it run in the family?

About 4 years ago my mother became ill with breast cancer. As a dutiful daughter, I tried to be there for her, and found the only thing she enjoyed doing was gambling. I took her to the casino and spent a lot of money for her and me to gamble. It seemed this was the only way I could feel close to her, so that's what I did.

For the 2 weeks before she died, she cried with my brother, wanted my brother to take care of all of her affairs, to write letters of her last thoughts to those she loved, etc. etc. She did none of this with me. When she died, I was there for her last breath. My brother mailed the letters, only I never received mine because it got lost in the mail. I was heartbroken on one hand, but relieved on the other hand because she had always been such a difficult person for me to feel close to. Always laying the guilt on me, never making me feel like I could do enough for her, always talking about how wonderful my brother was, etc.

Anyway, as it turned out, she had a major gambling addiction. One I was never really aware of because she always presented her gambling as a way to relax, or said it was the only thing in life that made her happy. Of course, now I realize what an addiction it was, and to make matters worse, in the process of me enabling and participating in her addition, I became addicted myself. I gambling excessively, and did all the stupid things gambling addicts do. When I came clean to my husband he was very forgiving and trusted me to never do it again. He went to counseling with me several times, and things were back to normal for awhile until I began gambling again. The first time I tried to quit, I joined Gamblers Anonymous, however, I was not able to accept that I was powerless over gambling and went with the attitude that I could control my gambling.

The second go-around when I came clean to my husband I finally got it, but by then it was too late for him. He wanted a divorce so he could protect his assets. He says he still loves me, but the hurt and pain I'm feeling from losing him are unbearable. I've begged for another chance, but he wants a divorce and said once the paperwork is finished, then perhaps we can get back together, but not as husband and wife.

I feel like if he loved me enough he would give me one more chance and work on our marriage. We've been married for 20 years and I can't cope with losing all of that. My husband has been generous with helping me get on my feet financially, but emotionally he's gone. He's very adamant he wants a divorce no matter how hurt I am or get in the process. It's been almost 5 months since we've separated and I still cry all the time. Please help - should I hang in there or just try to let him go?


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My thought: Gambling
Submitted by Bach on Mon, 2006-09-25 15:09.

My thought: Gambling addiction does ---not--- run in the family. we make our own destiny.

i used to believe that compulsive gambling was something that just happened to me like a disease but NOT ANYMORE.

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert on gambling addiction or any other addiction.