I'm not Alone


Hello,

I have now not gambled for a month. I'm hopeful yet feeling kind of sad, anxious and having the urge to go to a casino today.

I'm a woman that doesn't have too many bad habits. The gambling habit was one that snuck up on me when I wasn't looking. The first time I went in a casino I took $20. with me and never wanted to return. I did go back and gradually bet a little higher. I had some beginner's luck with wins and found myself addicted immediately. My addiction is with VLT's and I found myself going back more often and frequently until I started losing all track of time spent gambling. I would set a money limit or promise myself to leave when I won but many times I never did, only using the bank machines in the casino or I stayed until I put all my winnings back in.

I know this story is not new and you've heard it before, but in 3 short years, I have wasted more money than I know I could ever recoup. I've lied to my family and used household funds to support my gambling habit.

I've come to realize now that I no longer want to hurt my family members or break their trust or respect in me. It hurts me when I think of all the hard earned money I've thrown away and how many times I've lied to my family to cover up my gambling. That money could have been put to much better use for my family as a whole. Instead, I now realize I will never recoup that money and will only lose more if I keep on gambling. I thought I could control myself but have come to realize that I cannot. I know that if I ever gamble again, I will only lose more money.

I've made it for a 4 weeks now without gambling and I hope to make it for a lifetime. Some days are harder than others but I keep thinking it will get better. I try to remind myself of the way I would feel coming home after losing a bunch of money and trying to find ways to lie and cover it all up. I never want to feel that way again or have to worry like that. Although the last 4 weeks have been difficult, I've not had to worry about lost money or being untruthful to the people I love.

I've been reading this forum for the last 4 weeks and it has helped me tremendously. It helps to know that I'm not alone in my feelings or what I have done. I look forward to returning. This seems to be a very positive move for me.


wow!

i know what yo umean about lying to cover it up! that feeling is terrible as you are driving away frm the casino on your way home isnt it? never forget that feeling. it is a great motivator to stay away.
also think of something you want to buy or need when you want to gamble. go get something for the house and shop when you feel the urge. you will have just done something you wished you had instead of losing the money. it feels good to bring something home, and helps you maintain your realization that you can spend your money better elsewhere!!!!!

good luck, and fight on!!!
Every day ends how we choose it to.


I know how you feel,

I know how you feel, sometimes we put the blame on others, even lie just to get out of trouble. I haven't been gambling for a few months now, sure there is still an urge stirring inside of me, but I'm managing to shrug it off.

You can do it, don't worry. :)