Wife of compulsive gambler

Hello I am new to this board and looking forward to sharing with people of similiar situations. I understand everyone has been through a lot and only wish the best . I have two children. I found out last year my husband finally came clean.

After gambling , he put us in debt 60 grand and was mialng credit card statements in a secret po box and I was oblivious this was even going on. We had just had our seceond child and I was involved keeping house and raising chidren. this was the last thing on my mind. How could someone lie like that. He faithfully goes to his meetings every monday.

However I attended a gam anona meeting and found when I told my story it was belittled by one of the members being as he lost his daughter two years ago.

I was not trying to have a compititon and everyones problems matter. So, I was uncomfortable attending there since. I am hoping that because we have two kids and it is diffcult to trust people, it is hard to get out of the house to attend anyway. I am hoping this forum can help me.

I appreicate any comments as I still experience anger and distrust and am repulsed that someone who loves you could do that to his family, I never betrayed him disease or no disease. that is where I am at in my head.

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Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 2007-06-03 13:30.

Authored by: Annie on Tuesday September 06, 2005
11:19 AM EDT

I totally sympathise. I went out with mu beautiful boyfriend for nine months. We moved in together and three days later, after I lent him my credit card, and realised a lot of money had gone missing, he told me he had a gambling problem - pokie machines. Since then life has been a nightmare. I love him so much, but he never mentions his gambling unless I bring it up, it is his hidden secret. I have tried to look at why it bothers me (there are no financial problems), and basically it is the secrecy and the lying. I wish you the best, Annie x

Authored by: mapes on Saturday October 15, 2005
12:22 AM EDT

Annie,there are so many of us that can relate.How can our husbands that we love so much deceive and lie again and again I hear a reacurring word in most stories MY LIFE HAS BECOME A NIGHTMARE! Mine has.I've been married 5 years.My hu sband makes good money(1100)a week spends 80% on gambling I work full time so everything earned goes towards bills etc. I'm at the end of my rope.

Authored by: hopefullheloise on Monday October 17, 2005
04:28 PM EDT

I too am new to this game. I just found out. I want to find someone to talk with on line. I don't have anyone here to talk with, and talking with the gambler is probably not the best idea. Anyone interested?

youre right to feel this way!

he needs a WAKE UP CALL. my wife had to choose to end our marriage for me to realize the hurt i was causing. it took the love of my wife and the thought of losing her and my kids, to finally wake up from this dream. for some this isnt enough. but you must remember one thing, he has to WANT to change.
i wish you the best of luck.

Every day ends how we choose it to.