I need help to help him overcome this


Hello everybody,
I`m really glad to have found this page on the internet, and having read some of these topics made me understand a little better the extent of this addiction and how my husband feels, what he struggles against.
Nice to meet you, I should introduce myself.
My name is Ana, I`m from Romania( there is no Gamblers Anonymos nore other support group here in my country, none that I know of and I searched for one).
I`m 24 years old and my husband George is 28, we met over 6 years ago and we are married for 15months.Before he met me, my husband was kind of a different person, with a different lifestyle.He grew up in a fragile family environment, his parents were separated and he lived with his mom and step sisters at his step family or at his oncle`s house.Nobody really bothered to look after the children and their education, he told me that even since he was 5 years old, his familly gave him little amounts of money and encouraged him to play bingo and slot machines at casinos as this was usual entertainment for the adults. They thought it was adorable and amusing to see the little kid playing, saving his coins so that he could play again and see everybody around him having fun and enjoying themselves by his side. This was considered proof that they had a smart kid, it was something to be proud of.
So all of his childhood and adolescence, he "invested" pocket money into this, sometimes losing and sometimes winning, forming quite an entourage around him, without anyone telling him otherwise.This is something he just told me 4 months ago, I knew he had a"wild" childhood with neglective parenting and noone to support him or event to ask the question"Are you OK?how was your day?".His argument for not telling me about his problem sooner was " I don`t know why, I wanted to protect you, maeby I thought each time that I won`t do it again, I didn`t realise how bad it was,I never ment to hurt you..". I was really hurt because he slowly had gambled almost all of our money from a credit we took, we were almost left with no money to pay the rent" This is when he told me what really happened. we cried and we talked, and he said it won`t happen again, and I told him I would do my best to support him.All seemed to improve, until 3 days ago, when he went into a caffe and spent on a slot machine all the money he said he`ll give to the administraror for our monthly water and heating bill. I was at work, he didn`t call, he told me this when I got home. He was really sorry, but I was not able to understand, under the upset of the moment, why he did it, why he didn`t call me( maybe we could of talked over the phone and I could have supported him during this urge, to avoid gambling). I asked him if he knew any reason that may have trigerred this urge, and he sais he doesn`t know, he closes into himself and doesn`t want( or doesn`t know how) to talk about it.
I think he is blaming himself to much, he is unhappy with himself and I`m affraid that this could get him back into the same situation, sooner or later.

I have seeked information about problem/compulsive gambling, I hoped I`d find a supporting group, but here in Romania gambling seems to be more of a fashion, something to do to impress others rather that a psychological problem.

I am looking forward to our discussions, I don`t really have anyone else to talk to about this, and I hope with you help I will know better how to support him.

I understood it is more difficult than I could have ever imagined before( I had no idea about this before my husband told me about his problem).

Also, I think you are wonderfull, keep up the fight!
See you all soon, thanks again,
Ana

P.S: Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!


Point him to this site and

Point him to this site and ask him to tell his story. :jawdrop: