My 1st Post - Any Newbies Going to Join Me?


art: I've read the posts on this site a few times, have never gone to Gamblers Anonymous, have a sorrowful but supportive family, make six figures at 30 yrs old, love my life, but am so sick and frustrated and mainly terrified of what I'll become if I don't quit gambling - I've decided today to join this site, my first attempt at quitting that involves something other than saying the words.

I had many *censored*tails last night and drained my bank account again - went out by myself and let the destruction begin. I appear confident and very successful, but am actually scared and broke. This addiction is eating away at the dream life I know I can have and has corroded my cheerful, optimistic personality.

I won't go to Gamblers Anonymous - not a God believer and have heard things like they tell you to realize you won't have money again? I'm looking forward to sharing the beginning of recovery with some of you people - and after seeing the "view" to "post" ratio, encourage another rookie to get on board with me.

denisec: You don't have to believe in God to join Gamblers Anonymous, although I thought the same thing when I joined. Of course I was looking for any excuse not to join, not to stop gambling and that was just one of many.

Your story sounds quite familar; I too have a good job, a career and was just throwing my future away. Throwing away the good part of working so hard for my money. I looked at myself every morning before I would go to work and say "I'm not going to gamble today.", "I'm not going to bring my ATM.", "I'm not going to bring my credit cards today.". I never made it out the door without something. I lied to myself everyday.

I'm sorry I'm not too much of a rookie, but being on board is a great feeling. I wish you well Art and hope this site is everything you need for your recovery.

Denise C.
3 years one month and 6 days without a bet

challis: sounds like you have copped a hiding and are waking up to this gambling myth that if you keep trying well,ll get even eventually....forget about actually making money,only get even !!!after my last bust a month ago i didnt get a decent nights sleep for a week,my head was buzzing with what ifs,if only black not red..ect.what a headache.theres a time in life to take risks,but gambling risk is so slanted to the casinos favour its more like being taken to the cleaners.i find once i can look at myself in the mirror and say challis what you lost gambling is lost for good,let it go,i,ve been had by the experts and if this is the worst thing to happen to me i,ll be okay for the next part of my life,older and wiser.if only some one had told me that years ago...read through the old posts here theres so much gambling wisdom its a gold mine of experinced people who are on the same road.getting there sanity back.

scottish_bhoy: Art
what is this Gamblers Anonymous myth..they tell you "you will never have money"? what does that mean.Thats crap.
All my poker and casino accounts told me "you will never have money again" they told me it often ,loud and clear.
You will stop gambling when you want to.How you want and what kind of quality of life you require without gambling is totally up to you.
White knuckle abstinence from gambling is a rotten way to live.
Gamblers Anonymous has made inroads to saving my mental health, and with that my bank balance.BUT we must be aware this sickness is not a financial problem.It all centres in the mind.
I would say this.
Give Gamblers Anonymous you;re best shot for 90 days with an open mind and willingness to stop compulsive gambling for 24 hours at a time.,and if you dont think it is for you.Gamblers Anonymous will refund your misery.
good hunting

Mark
other site-----WWW.GAMCARE.COM

hawk: This is my first post too. I have gone to one meeting and was not too impressed with the group. I have bought all of the 12 step books and plan to read them but prefer an online forum. Hope this is it

art: Hawk,

Welcome! I am finding this site helpful. There is a lot of wisdom on here and I can relate to many of the comments or stories. There is also another site I have been reading posts on, although haven't joined yet - Gambling Addicts Trying To Give Up.

Another member, Uma, and I just agreed to go a week without gambling - want to join? Going 24 hours is the key to success, but goals of blocks of time help motivate me too. Let's make today a success and be strong!

art: This post is not intended to be a debate about Gamblers Anonymous, different things work for different people. I noticed that there are over 200 views of this post! Join me my friends, JOIN ME!

Thanks for the post denisec - didn't mean to exclude you pros, I know you have alot to say, all of which I need to listen to.

I'm on day 4, how you doin' Hawk?

If you're viewing this - please just post a short thought for the day or tell us about your worst gambling day ever, or list reasons you want to quit, or tell us the first thing that pops into your head that is gambling related.

I realized something yesterday when reading this book, Deadly Odds - The Compulsion to Gamble...When telling the story of when I moved to Vegas, I always say "never had been to Vegas, had never really gambled" to the suprise of the listener. Yesterday I realized I have actually been gambling my whole life. I was playing various types of poker for dimes and nickles when I was 7 or 8 years old. This is what my cousins and I did 2 weekends out of every month clear through childhood when I was visiting my dad on weekends. All through highschool, my friends and I would stay up all night playing every kind of card game known to man - betting quarters and sometimes dollars. In college, we'd have parties where there would be a big game of craps in the corner, my housemates and I would chip in and buy dozens of scratch off lotto tickets when we were bored with video games. When I moved to Vegas, I'm sure that subconsciously I couldn't wait to gamble! I'd never been to a "real" casino. Within an hour of pulling up to my friends house after a 2000 mile drive, we were at a casino and I was putting money into the machine. I hit a royal flush within 5 minutes. Hard to believe but true. No wonder I have a problem! LOL!

Another thing I've been blocking out: My father who I haven't spoken to in 15 years lost his house, the bar he owned, all of his money, even his car, when feds kicked in the door to his secret back room gambling parlor in his bar. My grandmother told me this and said he was living with his mother, penniless, and on federal probation at the age of 42. Wow! Talk about striking to think about after having blocked it out for 10 years and now having a gambling problem. Interesting what we find in our minds when we stop distracting ourselves with action and think for awhile!

I'll look forward to hearing a thought or two, make it a great day!

Art

hawk: hope your all doing well G free.i ve stopped gambling becouse i got tired of loosing ,ive been one bet away from breaking even and lost out,so i dont punt to make money,only trying to get my own money back.how pathetic weve become,thoughts of easy money have screwed me up,and to think of what its done to others here i ,m a lucky guy.i,ve still got a bank acc. and roof over my head.take it easy art,your not alone...

art: Thanks Challis! A gambling free day today will bring us closer to happiness and reward. Lets all visualize a distant happy day, knowing that our success in abstaining today will bring us closer to that day-in leaps and bounds!

moe11: yes I am a newbie and will join.

I have been gambling in Casino's for 8 years. Have some periods of control and others where I barely make ends meet.

I make around 70k/yr and live in a one bedroom apt. My credit is shot and I have no friends left because they were tired of being blown off.

Ok - I binged last night and lost $400. Only had $129 in my account so my next pay will be less due to a neg checking acct balance and I will have to script to pay bills. This has been how I have been living for the past few years. Never huge losses but a consistant drain.

Why do I do it? I don't plan on it. Don't want to. I really do not have anything left as sad as that sounds. Now on a Fri night I have nothing else to do but to go to a casino. Always rationalize it like "I will only spend $40" or one win and I am out. It always results in either me drawing out my acct to the negative or if I do win its gone in a few days with a few more casino trips.

I want to stop but what do you do with your life when you do? If your like me Casino's have become your social life.

I have been trying to get myself to go to Gamblers Anonymous for a few years but have yet to walk through the door.

onmymind: Eek!
My 1st post...ready to stop gambling. I was hoping to find a chat room with others who have a problem too. Like everyone else who finally wants to get help, I am just sick about my gambling problem and now debt. Please help... any chats out there or on this site?

Thanks

moe11: I am with you. Keep posting and I will keep reading. Be nice to have something to help talk me down when I am tempted to go for the big win.

Velocity: to Art:
tell me what do you think about this-
would you go to casino owner, and give him personaly
couple $$$$.........????
well, thats what we do all the time when we go there.

iowaboyz: hi guys ive just lost 500 dollars more tonight and i realize i need to quit really bad. as of right now i owe around 6500 dollars to neteller and firepay along with a few others and they call me everyday and i dont know what to tell them because i dont have the money. i wish i would have never done this. I hate saying this but my girlfriend who doesnt really know how far in debt i am is the only thing that keeps me here sometimes. i dont want people to feel bad for me i just wanted to tell someone because it makes me feel a lil better and i know u will hopefully understand me. Please if u guys have any advice for me and how to pay off my debt i would appreciate it thanks so much
wes swanson

Velocity: that pretty sad, man.
But, dont try go and win this money back. STOP.
Tell them you dont have money right now and ask them what the best think for you to do. Let them think for you because thats theirs money. $6500 not that bad, you can make 20 payments, $300 each, so 1 year and 6 mouns you will be ok. or 10 payments $600. Dont run from them , talk to them. There is always ways to go.
good luck

art: Great to see the new faces, thanks for sharing. These are the first steps in our gaining freedom from gambling. Stopping is no easy task, I've been trying with all my might for the last couple weeks. Visiting the site and raising my awareness has helped tremendously. I have had a couple slip ups in this time, but feel that I am much closer to success today than I was yesterday. We have to view this as a life change that we're choosing to bless ourselves with. Each day that passes without gambling is a day closer to a happy gambling free life.

Moe, your habit sounds very similiar to mine and many others on this site. The slow consistent draining of our financial resources...I've been trying to focus on tomorrow and the distant future, knowing that not gambling today and tomorrow is the only road that leads to victory years from now. I know we all think about all of the nice things we can do with money that isn't lost - it is time for us to realize that gambling will only continue to rob us and build a bigger compulsion. One day of gambling today brings multiple days of loss later ("win" or no win). Freedom from gambling will bring the same compound effect, except with a positive outcome...Today, choose life.

The Friday night casino social life is a lie to ourselves. One of my slips recently was excused in my mind by boredom - in Vegas, very few friends, and "bored". I went out, didn't make new friends, felt bad because I played, and was $1,000 further away from freedom. I came home and thought, "if only I wasn't so bored here". Then it occurred to me that this is simply a really lame excuse to justify playing. The monster that is gambling will whisper all kinds of things in our ears to try to convince us. We have to be extra strong at these times, knowing that this is the lie and darkness that this monster uses to entice us. ...Boredom? It is amazing how many things there are for us to do when we are not fixated on gambling. Also, at this stage of the game, I'd rather suffer through a "boring" Fri. night watching a movie or whatever, rather than suffer through the financial loss, and more importantly, the guilt and disappointment with myself of gambling. Make a list of alternative things to do with your time and a list of why you want to stop, then make sure you read it when you get the urge. Here's part of my list:

Why Stop:
Not being controlled by a compulsion that, as serious as it is, strikes me as absurd.

New camping gear, furniture, clothes, vacations, great dinners...

Being happier and wealthy years from now.

Being happy and not flat broke tomorrow.

What to do when I'm "bored":
Visit this site and others like it.

Write in my journal

Read a book

Go workout

Learn how to play my guitar

Go shopping, buy a little something w/ money I would've thrown away (just make sure this doesn't become a compulsion too! Eek! )

We know we have to stop this destructive cycle and there is only one way to do it: Don't gamble today, no matter what. Seek support, like this site or Gamblers Anonymous, and look forward to a bright gamble free future (exciting ). Don't put yourself in tempting situations.

Lets make a choice today to move one day closer to a successful happy life! Now there is a huge payoff!

Art

liro: hello...day 5 and a huge mess in my life..broke, no work at the moment and a failing relationship. glad this board is here....

iowaboyz: i have been at this site for like two weeks but i still consider myself as a newbie and i want to quit and i have been free for two weeks and i just started askin my pastor what to do and he told me to look to god and no joking after i did i was amazed that the sun shined and i started realizing that my life was great even though i owe 6500 dollars i still love life i dont know if that helps but hey its worth a shot huh?

art: Welcome Liro! Right on to 5 days of success! The cool thing is is that the struggles that you mentioned will pass. You will find a job, your troubling relatiohship will either go away or repair, and last but not least, if you don't gamble, your being broke will also pass. You are now one day closer to all of these troubles dissolving away. Life is so cool like that isn't it?!

I had a pretty big heaping mess in my life about a week ago, I was freaking out w/ stress and concern. Lost the biggest deal of my life that would've made me a millionaire in 5 years, was losing my job, etc. I met my buddy for a drink and before I told him about my worries, he said "my mother went into the hospital 3 days ago and might die and yesterday my 31 year old best friend told me she is starting chemo next week for her newly discoverd cancer." Perspective my friend, perspective. I'm not undermining your current struggle, believe me I know how you feel and how horrible the things you mentioned feel. But, remember being broke, unemployed, and having a broken heart is temporary. Look toward the permanence of enjoying a gambling free life. And discover the power you have to control at least one of the current afflictions - gambling.

Be strong Liro! There are better days waiting for us! Please continue to join the rest of us here struggling. We as a group can achieve individual success! We are the fortunate few who have gained a higher level of self awareness and have the strength to identify our struggle and rise up against it!

As of today there are 526 views of this post. I'm calling a rally of the troops! We can be a small army of successes, sharing tremendous support...thanks for the responses thus far. We are here on this site right now, in and of itself being a big step towards freedom! Lets do it, it is ours for the taking my friends!

Day 8, feelin' great!
Art

liro: ty art. today is day 7 and i'm not feeling too well. i dont really feel like gambling, but i'm extremely anxious aboutdealing with the fallout from my lying, etc. being in the disfavor of some people that i love is one of the triggers that got me self-destroying in the first place. but..as a friend said "you need to buy back trust.., and you dont get to set the price."

allana: day 2 for me,and the thoughts are still in my head.i don't feel as ugly inside today though and thats a good thing.i haven't told anyone that i'm quitting though,i'm afraid i'll let them down yet again.the urge is stronger today...must be the withdrawl,but luckily for me every time i felt like leaving the house i turned on my puter and came here.thank you all so much for sharing yourselves,it's gotten me through today.congrats to all who made it through today and good luck to those who didn't.

From scotty555:

Let me count the times I've tried to quit....ahhhhhhhhh, too manny to count. However, I'm on day 10 and today is my Birthday, so I'm happy right now. I would love to pop back on here in 5 months and say -- "yep, 5 months and no betting" Okay -- so thats my goal...I'm marking it on my schedule 9 November I will be back (and more in-between). You all set your own goals -- even 24 hours or 3 weeks or 2 years...get a goal and get compulsive about that. Use your monster of compulsiveness to kill itself. We are GOOD people -- we love our friends and families -- find your inner source and make it happen. Read, study, workout, movies, wash your dog...just divert and wait out the urge. Be strong, don't dwell...move on. Last thought...In India there are people so poor they have no hope to ever prosper...financially doomed...so, we may think we have no way out, but we at least have the POTENTIAL for success. Just remember how much worse it could be and don't pity yourself...challenge yourself to recover and reach your short goals of quitting gambling and then go on to make longer goals. Lets keep supporting each other. I think the best feeling is being content with my family and not stressed over a sports bet or internet black jack. The further I get from it the more ridiculous it sems...of course 10 days isn't too many days, but it is a start. I am pulling for all of you and have felt your feelings of guilt and frustration. I am with you. Keep your head up, chest out and walk on. Scotty555
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Scotty555