Liz and all...I understand


StaceyP

i lost my mom and dad 8 months apart...i understand how you are thinking..it took me a long time to even figure out my gambling had to do w/their deaths..i just thought i was bored...well maybe i was in the beginning...

for me to occupy myself.. I read, and read and read, and researched this disease i read the books....born to lose, double down, jackpot, and just recently i bought house of cards, its contents fill my brain w/all the positives i need to stop gambling...just like the lights/sounds of the casino filter in your mind to start gambling, the words help me even when i dont know it..they have to...cause i havent thought about going into that spare room w/my computer at home and booting it up and start playing..im happy to say i dont "think" about it as much anymore ...... im sure my mind may play tricks w/me and say YOUR OK NOW...go ahead...but i know i cant handle it....the last time i sat there....and begged god to get me stop..over and over...even though i kept hitting the button and my balance went to zerio.....he did eventually show up......

30 days++++ clean....

Did i forget to say thank you god?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart....

Liz

Posted: 19 Jul 2006 08:48 pm Post subject:
StacyP

Thirty days clean is great! The first month is the very hardest. I'm clean two weeks tomorrow. I will go to a Gamblers Anonymous. meeting with my friend. He's very supportive. He's helping a lot. I've also been praying about not gambling too.

Hugs,
Betty