[POSTED FROM EMAIL RECEIVED FROM Lisa.]

After much internet research, it is clear to me that my husband is a problem gambler. Casinos are not legal in our area, but "card clubs" are. Because he is retired, he has way too much time on his hands, so he frequently stays there for hours and hours playing poker. It has taken over his life. He routinely comes home in the wee hours of the morning and then does it all again a day or two later. He cannot stop and has said outright that he will not. The stories I have read all seem to involve gamblers who ultimately admit their problem and seem remorseful.

Outwardly, my husband exhibits no remorse for what he does and approaches it with a sense of entitlement as though he is daring me to question his actions. I have made it abundantly clear how I feel about his gambling, and his response is, "I don't care."

I've considered attending a Gam-Anon meeting, but the true problem ultimately lies with him, so I am doubtful about how much help these meetings will be for me. I'm trying everything I can think of to not divide our family, but I am lost and my life is a nightmare.

Where do I begin to turn for help?

moe11

Posted: 02 Aug 2006 11:03 pm Post subject: re
How much is he losing?

It sometimes takes awhile before one realizes what they are doing. I would check around for advise from this Anon group you mentioned.

Ann

Posted: 03 Aug 2006 04:49 am Post subject:
Hello Lisa and welcome,

It's true, your husband has to want to ultimately stop, you can't do that for him. I do think that Gam-Anon can help you to understand the addiction though. Your husband may not have reached his bottom yet. Perhaps they will have some suggestions for you to help him to come to terms with his addiction sooner.

Good luck and let us know how things go, we need to hear your story.

Ann

KikiT

Posted: 03 Aug 2006 05:29 pm Post subject:
Hi Lisa,
We understand what you are going through. You are definetly right in seeking help with a gam-anon group. They will help you to understand the illness of compulsive gambling and will give you insight on how to deal with a family member or friend that is in denial. Like Ann said before me, please come back and tell us how you are doing. Your friend, Kiki

Lisa

Posted: 04 Aug 2006 04:48 pm Post subject: It's me
Thank you all for being so nice to me. It feel strange to talk about this, but it helps to know I am not alone. I do not know how much he has lost because he wins big and loses big, and I can't keep track. He does not share this information with me. He probably would if I asked, but I hesitate to know. I think he gambles because he is bored, so in the weeks ahead, I am going to try to come up with activities for us to do in the evenings when I get home. Something to plan for and look forward to. I know when the Gam-Anon meeting in my area is, and if he's gone on that night of the week, I may get up enough nerve to attend. Thanks again for your help. Today feels like a better day.

Ann

Posted: 04 Aug 2006 05:28 pm Post subject:
Hello Lisa,

Please keep us posted as to how your meeting went and let us know how it's all going for you. Best of luck with everything.

Ann

sue

Posted: 08 Aug 2006 01:40 pm Post subject: What my husband did
Hi Lisa,

Mine is a long story about gambling addiction (I am the addict). What my husband did is kick me out of the house. I left for a few days as a cooling off period and when I wanted to come back he flatly refused, changed the locks, and filed for divorce. This was after about 4 years of my gambling addiction which started when my Mother became ill with breast cancer.

I'm still reeling from the shock and wish he would have been more supportive, however, he couldn't put up with it anymore. Not that I'm advising you do this, because I think it's the worst thing my husband could have done, just thought I would let you know what happened.

Sue