Finding peace with myself


I find this site very helpful and an instrumental part in my recovery. I'm here almost every day. I might not post but I read about what others are going through and it helps me tremendously.

Sometimes I feel this "emptiness" (I think it's peace that I'm not used to) when I'm not going the turmoil and up and down cycles that I used to go through. I've come to realize that this emptiness is the peace I've been seeking all my life. It's telling me to find something to do, but don't gamble. In the last 2 months I've had a lot of drama at work but I didn't once give in to gambling, like I would have in the past. I stepped back and accepted my part in all the chaos and accepted responsibility.

I feel good about myself now. I'm beginning to love the peace with myself and with those around me. I don't need turmoil in my life. I want to be successful in everything I do and the only way to do that is to have a solid foundation, a peaceful foundation.

I feel a connection with everyone here when I read your posts; there's a part of me in them.

Monday February 21, 2005
05:31 PM EST

Hello Honesty,
I have enjoyed reading your posts.. and all about how you are dealing with not gambling.. and choosing healthier ways to deal with stress and drama in everyday life.. I also like the way you look at the emptiness.. the quiet times, the alone times.. keep thinking positive thoughts.. but always have something close by to fill the voids of not gambling.. there is much here to say that some of those feelings are withdrawals from gambling.. and I have seen many run back to gambling.. because of that.. you on the other hand are doing just what we all should be doing.. keeping optimistic and always thinking positively.. keep it up and stay focused.. gambling.. truly sucks and is only a temporary fix.. and then we are worse that before.. I enjoyed your thoughts today, hugs, lilaud

Thank-you for the encouragement, lilaud!