Where to start

I just found this site today. I believe I have a gambling problem. It's not that bad yet, but it could be. You tell yourself you can control it, you can make it better and then you see yourself and you don't like it. I know I shouldn't gamble. I tell myself that every time I go to a casino or every time I even think about going to a casino, but that never stops me from being there. I tell myself it's not worth it. You know how you will feel when every thing is said and done. You'll be mad at yourself for not quiting when you should have. You'll be mad at yourself for losing all that money. You'll be mad at yourself for not having any self control. I'm grown person. I should be able to control myself. I should be able to say no, but it's like my body does something completely different.

I've always gone back and forth with gambling. I was doing really good for a long time, but all of the sudden something happened and I ended up spending all the money I had saved for my husband and I to go on vacation. I had to take a loan out to cover the money I had spent and it's like I've been trying to win it back ever since. The funny thing is I never win. 1 out of 100 times I win; so I know when I go to the casino that I'm not going to win, but I somehow convince myself that maybe, just maybe this time I will. When I use to gamble it was only like $10 a week, now it can go up to a couple hundred a week. $10 doesn't bother me and if I could back to being able to walk away when I didn't win, I'd be fine. I'm almost certain that my gambling problem stems from my past. I probably need therapy for more than just gambling, but here I am. I guess I'm making the first step to trying to get control of my life. I just don't want to be this person anymore. Always wanting more because you feel like it's not good enough. I think gambling makes me think if I win, I'll be happy and life will be great because I won; but it's not is it. Life doesn't work that way. I wish it did. I pray every night that God will give me the strength to stop, but so far I'm starting to wonder if he's still listening. Anyways I just like being able to talk and even if no body is reading this, I like to think someone is and understands.

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Welcome Glo. I understand
Submitted by c-j on Thu, 2007-11-29 12:41.

Welcome Glo. I understand where you're coming from. If you win, you will not be happy. You'll want more and more and this will lead you back to gambling. You'll find joy in working for the money you want, if that's what you want.

You never win because the games are designed that way. If gamblers win, how are the casinos going to pay their employees? Look at how many employees they have. That's a ton of money coming from somebody's pocket. Don't let it be yours any more.

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hi glo,a very familar to me
Submitted by challis on Sat, 2007-12-01 21:11.

hi glo,a very familar to me post,i started small,1 dollar in the poker machines,untill i would put 5000 a hand at baccarat.and of course theres no end to it,the reality is the more money you have,the more you have to loose.i stopped becouse although i have the money in the bank to gamble,i know that a 5000k bet can turn into a 50 k bet in 5 minutes !!!just keep doubling up...hence i self excluded myself.this has given me the control i need to not start.becouse once i start gambling i dont stop untill my moneys gone... and as rational as i try at the time of gambling to tell myself that you know mister you might loose all this money,the chasing of the loss is the overriding thought.so just stop

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I so see myself in
Submitted by franny84or on Sun, 2008-01-06 10:24.

I so see myself in your blog. I have lost our home, a car and a lot of friends because of my gambeling. I too pray each and every day for God to help me. He has but I think I ignore him. I can go for 2-3 months without gambeling and then something happens, or someone says something or I get a brochure in the mail from a local casino and I go into my "day dream of how I can win big" mode and find myself in front of a machine. I have been at the point of suicide but have a support system in place that I can "chose" to use. I pray for all the people out here, who, like me, loose control.