One day at a time


A lot has happened since the last time I wrote in here. My girlfriend had surgery to remove the cancer from her stomach and her lymnodes, there has been some extensive treatment and now we are 16 weeks into a 48 week treatment program. The treatments are working but damn this stuff is harsh and she just feels crappy all the time; she goes to bed most nights at 7:00 which makes me miss her so much. I feel guilty that I miss her that I think about what I'm missing and not what she is going through sometimes. There are days when I want to bury my head in the sand; I am so friggin sick of cancer. First I lost my niece and now my girlfriend has cancer. Life sometimes tests me a bit too much. Needless to say I have not gambled through all this and there have been some very difficult days not to chose gambling as an option.

Gamblers anonymous has helped me so much through everything I have had to deal with and has given me the support and the tools to cope with life as it comes to me. I still go to quite a few meetings and run two in my area. I run a new comers meeting and that is my favorite. I love the honesty in new members pain and if I can give someone hope like others gave me hope that is just a gift.

This last week has been tough, everything has been catching up with me but I'm feeling better today. I still know that gambling can not be an option, if anything it will make everything worse. I do have the feeling that I want to numb out from time to time and when that happens I go to more meetings. I don't know what I would have done had I been gambling when all this happened; oh yes I do, I would have run away.

Life is always better as long as I don't make that next bet.

Denise C - 4 years 3 months and 8 days without a bet - One day at a time - sometimes one minute at a time.

* denisec's blog
* Add new comment

Haaannnngggg in there
Submitted by your friend in recovery (not verified) on Mon, 2007-06-18 15:03.

Haaannnngggg in there denise. this will soon pass and you will be rewarded for you courage. God is testing you. you are stronger than you think. you will get through this. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. be a shining beacon for everyone. be strong and don't gamble.

you are stronger than you think.

* delete
* edit
* reply

You are needed!!
Submitted by Krimson18 on Sat, 2007-08-04 01:49.

you are alive, and while you are alive you interact with others, these interactions can be postive affirmations and help for others which make all the difference for them. If you werent around then none of this would happen for them, be strong because other people need you :)